First post of 2012. Catchin Up, Reevaluating, Realizing.

Catching Up

Well Its 2012, and I FINALLY got my first check from this wack new job I got at the end of 2011. It was surprisingly quite hefty for one weeks work. My first 2 days I did work 11 hours tho. It does feel good to now be able to catch up on some bills if I wish, tho im probably gonna wait till my check for 2 weeks comes in for all that. Hopefully by then tho, Toyota whome I was able to interview with this past Friday will give me a call and take me out of this misery which is my job lol. If that doesnt happen tho, Plan B is to just save most of what I make and make that move to Raleigh before the summer. My aunt there has already been informed of this plan (since she will most likely be who i'll be staying with at first) and I got my cousin lookin out for me job wise.

Reevaluating

Speaking of Raleigh, I made a trip up there this past weekend. With my newfound money, my car found itself filled with gas and on the highway. A brother I know there had a gathering, (yes gathering not a party) and I went. Some of the bros from my cong. were a lil miffed that I went without telling them, but SO WHAT? It was INVITE ONLY. And I for one am glad it was. You see, there was no "youngins" there, and therefore no foolishness. Just food, drinks, games, cool sis and bros, and good convo. In fact, that was one of the best "gatherings" ive EVER been to. It felt good bein able to chill with ppl my own age or older, most of whome were single (and attractive) and no type of "hateration" in the room. In fact the NFL playoffs were on, and barely anyone was even watching the game. I left the gathering feeling refreshed and with a host of new numbers in my phone. Thats the type of get together were I feel you could find your future wife at. Not like some of these "partys" i've been to in the past. You dont really get to know about anyone at those, you just basically come to look good, get your dance/drink on, get digits and leave. The point being....ima chill on the party scene a lil bit, (the last one I attended in 2011 left my conscience a lil scarred) and look for more of the type of events of this past weekend. That way I can get know people on a more personal level and they can get to know me, minus the drama.


Realizing

Speaking of personal, I've come to realize 2 things by the end of 2011 and beginning of 2012. First, I will never find a suitable mate (or date) on a social network. The sisters I've run across online have too many issues, either with themselves or their past or both. I know one sis that praises Jehovah one status, and is layin up under some worldly dude the next. I mean thats an extreme case but, then I see sisters who because of all the attention from pics they get on FB and Twitter all of a sudden become snooty. And I'm not just saying this, these are ppl I know and have met on multiple occasions. Plus its way to easy to hide your real personality on these social networks. The aformentioned "snooty chick" Is a complete awkward dork in real life. The only thing she has going for her is her looks. But if you see her on Twitter she's gangsta and rippin thirsty dudes to shreds with her tweets. Also...you get the sisters that are still "friends" with their ex's online. Meanwhile they'll talk to you, flirt, and what have you, knowing good and well when their "ex" comes acallin...they goin right back to them. But thats another story. Anyways im just gonna be cool with chicks online, definitly not gonna holla unless we've met.

The second thing i've realized is.....I love my Dad. He gets on my last, of my last, of my LAST nerve a solid 85% of the time, but I love him. I think the irritation is that he knows me so well, even when I say only 3 words to him throughout the course of a day...He STILL knows whats on my mind. My irritation also could stem from the fact that we look so much alike, and yet im still overshadowed by his loud, boisturous personality. Im always getting the "He musta spit you out!!" comment, followed by the "Yeah but Bro. Bell Sr. likes to talk!!". The latter comment, is usually someone from my Dad's generation. Really tho, nobody but me and my Mom knows what my Dad goes through. He stays putting up a good front for the ppl in general and the cong. He almost recently stepped down from being an elder. The other elders convinced him to stay though. His eyes arent what they used to be, and he has complications due to being on dialysis. While I was outta work, I was often the one taking him back and forth to the center, and I know that takes a toll on him. I know it sounds selfish, but I get irritated that he isnt able to do all the things he used to do and sometimes I take it out on him. Truth of the matter is tho, if something were to ever happen to my Dad I would cry my eyes out. I dont even know if I could function. I think about this everyday, and I just pray it doesnt happen on a day that im angry with him.